How do you feel about that dirty water now?

~Or: Potent Non-Potables~

It’s obvious that the universe has decided to be a little cheeky this week. And usually, I like as much irony as I can get.  But, a drinking water crisis in a town that confesses to “love that dirty water?” Well played, Universe, well played indeed.

Located down by the banks of the river Charles, Boston is one of the most affluent cities in existence, with the third highest SBPC (Starbucks per capita) rating among American cities, after Seattle and, surprisingly, Dayton, Ohio.  It’s highly educated, holds two of the finest institutions of higher learning in the western world (what schools did you think I was talking about?), and is home to think tanks, harvard commas, and the Red Sox, one of the highest paid sports franchises the world has ever known.  But, over the past two days, Boston residents have gotten a little taste of what it feels like to live in the more economically depressed areas of the world.

Most of the people that don't have access to clean water live in Africa. Which is totally fair.

Two million residents of Boston and the Greater Boston Area were advised by public health officials to boil their water as it was unsafe for ingestion after a 10 ft wide pipe burst, spewing eight million gallons of water per hour, and allowing the cities drinking water to mix with untreated water.  Many were inconvenienced, and played it safe by drinking lots of beer and other adult, sterile beverages. This strategy worked really well for one night, until the next morning, when it proved to have been a really, really bad idea. Imagine having to wait 20 minutes for water to boil when there’s a stadium full of soccer hooligans screaming “Rule Britannia” behind your eyes.

But, what will prove for Bostonians to be a short term inconvenience (that already has its own T-Shirt) is the status quo in places like Africa, where only 46% of the population has access to safe drinking water.  Think about how inconvenient this has been for you, Boston, and this is just a 48-72 hour situation.  In Africa, it’s permanent.  In 2006 alone, 1.6 million people died from water born pathogens.  That’s 3 times the population of the city of Boston proper.  In order to deal with this issue, all a Bostonian has to do is get some water from the tap, turn on the stove, wait 15 minutes for it to boil, cool it off in the fridge for maybe half an hour, and drink away.  That sure is a pain in the ass, man.  A mother in Uganda, where only 52% of the population has access to safe drinking water, would only have to walk several miles to a well, fill up two 5 gallon jugs of water, which weigh a little over 40 pounds each, walk back to her home, gather the necessary fuel and pots to build a fire, boil her water over said fire, and wait hours for the water to cool.  Many don’t make the effort after walking the 10 miles to go through the arduous process of purification.  They may use iodine tablets or screen the water for any large particulates, but largely their water goes untreated. And, as evidenced earlier, they pay a steep price.

But! There’s a silver lining.  You can help! Obviously Boston, you’ve seen how much limited access to safe water can suck.  Help it suck less in the rest of the world.  Check out the Millennium  Development Goals from your old pals at the UN.  Keep them on track.  Better yet, give money.  Seriously.  For reals. Because you’ve seen how much this can suck as a temporary inconvenience.  Imagine how bad it must be when it’s a way of life.